This tribute was developed by Ellen, edited by Barbara Ann and Kate, and was read at the Memorial Mass by Jon Cares.
Barbara Margaret Fitzgerald Cleary was born in Holyoke, Massachusetts in 1921. Her birthday was either September twenty-first or twenty-second, depending on which date was more convenient in any particular year.
Her two older brothers called her "The Haunter," because she insisted on following them everywhere and participated in all their activities. Her brother David declared years later that she could have been an Olympic athlete if she wanted. She apparently did not, as none of her children can remember her doing anything resembling exercise &endash; excluding, of course, the chasing of many toddlers.
Barbara graduated from St. Joseph College in West Hartford in 1944. While there, she scandalized the nuns because she was visited on a regular basis by a whole contingent of young Holyoke gentlemen.
However, these visits came to a halt the day when, in Liggett's drugstore, she brazenly volunteered to put lotion on the shoulders of a skinny, sunburned Irish boy named Robert Emmett.
Their eventual engagement was followed by an emergency change of date for their wedding when World War II interfered with their plans. Barbara insisted on sending Robert oversees as a married man and a small wedding was held in Maryland. The following fifty-seven years brought many moves, six children, several large dogs, many elections, good friends, and lots of parties.
Although Barbara majored in Home Economics in college, she tried to keep this a secret. Her major always brought expressions of amazement to peoples' faces because it was clear that housekeeping was at the bottom of her list of priorities. When she wasn't at her children's events, she was at school board, Selectmen's and Democratic Town Committee meetings, PTA functions or Alter Guild. She also allegedly bowled. She passed on to her daughters an ability to clean in a flash by piling things neatly, and to make take out meals look homemade.
She was famous for her parties, especially at the beach, where turkeys, hams and baked beans were served and many unlikely groups came together in Old Lyme for the Fourth of July.
With her ever-present lists, she could calmly and efficiently organize a card party, a bowling banquet, an election, or a wedding.
Barbara was always on the side of the underdog, and with her husband believed in using the political process to make the world a better place. She was never the one on stage, but was always the one behind the scenes; stuffing envelopes or working the phones, and making coffee.
When she developed problems with her short-term memory, she dealt with the confusion through her ability to appreciate each day for itself.
In her long struggle against heart disease, she was known as a good and funny patient. She inspired the nurses with her almost unfailing good humor and her amazing flexible legs, which she enjoyed demonstrating.
At the end, she fought back from a life-threatening infection to achieve her goal of coming home to her husband. She passes on to her extended family of children, grandchildren, lifelong friends, loyal relatives, step-grandchildren and step-great grandchildren, a legacy of volunteerism and social activism. We can only hope to live up to the legacy of her loving heart.